Let me start out by saying thank you to my cousin who made me cry in a good way this morning. She made me feel normal. If you are a mom who ever thinks you are the only one out there sometimes her last post will make you feel better.
I was going to write this post last night was too stressed and tired so it never happened. I also worried that people would automatically judge me. The title was going to be newborn stress. Yesterday wasn't our best day and parts of this week have been difficult. It started out early Monday morning when I woke up with a temperature and aches all over. How was I supposed to get through the day... I called my mom for help. For some reason I always feel guilty for doing that. I don't know why. Maybe I think that I should just be able to be sick and still get through the day but it would have never happened. I was a mess. Because of this nothing got accomplished. We are at my parents house as of yesterday house sitting so I had a ton of laundry and packing to do. It is amazing how much stuff a newborn needs! I still had Tuesday but Julia had her first music class and then I got sidetracked with other things. So Wednesday morning picture me running around my house trying to pick up, do laundry, pack, all while entertaining a 2 year old and a newborn. Not a pretty picture because no one was cooperating in my world. I had a newborn who thought she could be on a two year old nap schedule. Only two twenty minute naps does not work for an almost five week old. Plus there was a two year who interrupted one of those naps by screaming and stomping up the stairs. Here comes my very grumpy voice because she woke up said newborn. Poor thing because that was not her intent and she did not deserve this mommy meltdown. Then last night there was frustration between wife and husband because my grumpiness came out again. I blame all of this on sleep deprivation:) I know there are some people who love the newborn stage however I am looking forward to the baby being a little older. Don't get me wrong because I love being a mom and cuddling my new baby but there are days when I can't wait until life is a little more routine, the baby is a little older, when I get more than a three hour stretch of sleep, and don't feel like a milk machine. And yes I know that in six months there will be another set of stresses. Being a mom is wonderful and I wouldn't change things for the world. However, it is truly the hardest job out there and on the other hand so rewarding. We put so much stress on ourselves that we aren't doing things the right way, but is there a right way?? I am sure since Caroline has been born Julia has watched way too much tv and I know that I have not had dinner on the table every night. I assume that I should have creative wonderful meals prepared and fun activites planned every day but that isn't our reality. I just try to make it through the day in one piece and if we are smiling then I consider it successful. I always worry that other people are judging me but I need to step back and see that my two year is a doll and I have a beautiful new baby that just wants to be loved. That is pretty wonderful even if my house is one big dust bunny.
So I guess it is true that good things don't come easy:) However, hard work makes a wonderful family and I think that my family is the best around!
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5 comments:
I am right there with ya Kat!! I could not WAIT for the newborn stage to be over. Nobody had really prepared me for how hard it was, they said I would be tired but didn't say how emotionally and physically difficult it would be. It was a REALLY rough stage for me! I honestly do not know how you do it with a 2 year old! I cannot even imagine. I too, worry about being judged and am still working on that. Anyways, I love your post. Keep on trucking. As you know, it DOES get better! ;) (I was not a fan of those words in the beginning)
My neighbor just told me that once I turn 30, I won't care what people think of me. I hope it holds true because it really shouldn't matter.
You are a great mom! I know how trying two little ones can be. And yes, I love newborns but the sleep deprivation can be destructive. Along with the hormones, the whines, AND mastisis to top it off! You have had a rough week. I wish I could come over and help, of course then we'd have double the trouble!
The hardest time with my little ones was when their naps did not and could not coincide, Nora 10-12 River 12-2 Nora 2-4. Basically I was a prisoner in my own home in order to have well rested children. Hindsight, (and yes I can cherish those moments now) I should have taken more naps. When the baby is asleep, turn on noggin and close your eyes. Try to get rest.
Love you!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with mastitis. The worst! You are so smart to take available help and get any rest you can so you can get better. Countless times I laid on the couch so many times with who-knows-what going on around me.
I miss you and love you guys. Can't wait until we can sit together and vent over a bottle of wine while the grandmas go crazy enjoying these little people.
I love this post. Way to keep it real.
Something that I learned already, is that after a couple months, you forget all the bad stuff, and look at old pictures and smile (and want another baby!).
Hi sweetie! I am sorry you are having a tough week. Unfortunatly, I have no advise for your but I have TONS of love and really big ears. If you need anything, I am only a phone call away. Lots of Love!
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